The line, The witch and the Wedding

I feel like I've dipped my toe into the wedding pool only to fall in upto my neck! Although it's a celebration of two people it seems that everyone around wants to get a finger in your pie, so to speak. As a family person I know that family is important for something of this scale to be a success as you need the help! (God knows I can't cook a feast for a load of people and I wouldn't even try!)

However some people seem to not grasp the difference between helping, hindering and taking over. I have already experienced all three since planning our wedding.
Help! Help is when you tell someone you are self catering for 160-200 people and they offer to help cook and prepare food and be in charge :). This is helping because your aware someone has limitations and you want to contribute towards making the dream happen- THANK YOU AUNTY CAROLE- we love you :)

When trying to organise the reception venue i was really worried we were leaving it too late as i've read sometimes people book venues 2 years in advance! So when i arranged an appointment to have a look around the Barn i was excited and worried someone would beat us to the date! The last thing i wanted to hear was someone saying we should 'wait til someone has a wedding there so we can sneak in and have a look at it dressed up' errrm no. That would mean waiting and maybe losing out, it would mean that we would be intruding on someones big day and i wouldn't want that so why would i inflict that on someone else? And we'd be decorating the place differently any way so what would be the point? Answer- There isn't one its just a Hinderance!

And lastly and maybe the most annoying thing i have come across, and to be honest i didn't expect this- MY Mother. I have discussed my vision of what we want from the day from the important things like the food (hehe) to the things we don't think of as that important like the cake!

Please don't panic, we will have a cake and it will look amazing but it will not cost £400+ because when all's said and done it's a bloody cake! Something that is photographed, admired, you have the 'first cut', then it's portioned up for guests to take away in a paper napkin, forgot about for a few days then binned when you find it in your pocket or purse, covered in confetti and fluff!

'Don't worry Jo, i know what it's like to have someone try and force what they think is best on your wedding, On my cake i wanted blue roses but your Nan insisted i get yellow ones!'
At this point i felt alittle easier as she had first hand experience at what i was worried would happen to me.....the she found a local 'Cake Boutique' whose prices start from £395!! After looking at the gallery with her and looking at some pretty bland cakes she saw one where the tiers were made to look like suitcases and she was like a dog with a bone! 'Oh Jo you and Ben should have that one!'
' no mom i don't like it and i certainly do not want to spend that much on a cake!'
Half an hour passed, i wasn't in 'wedding mode' i was watching a movie when she asked again 'So that cake, are you having it then?'
'No, I want to get 4 tiers from M&S for £83 instead, the cake tastes good, it looks nice and it's OUR wedding!' This made me mad as i sounded like a fucking Bridezilla when i don't want to and i thought my Mom someone who should know me so well does not get me at all! and did a total fucking U-turn within an hour! (reminds me of another misjudged cake incident of which i will not get into! Argh! Calm...calm....calm.....and relax.

Much Love, Jo x x x

Rock n roll Wedding

Hey!
Sooo yesterday the venue booking form arrived which i thought was quick i was expecting it to arrive monday/tuesday but this is better because now by tuesday they will have our completed booking form and deposit cheque :)

So i thought after these things were sorted i could chill out and forget out the whole thing for atleast a little while but i think it's too late and wedding fever has gripped me!

For those of you reading this that know me i'm not someone who follows the crowd i love tradition but i believe weddings should be about the couple getting married and expressing those individuals who are joining themselves together forever, not the current wedding trend in all the magazines! and believe me i've bought these magazine from when we first became engaged to a few weeks ago and even with 3 years inbetween EVERYTHING looks the same! It almost feels like every wedding has to include butterflys, feathers, YSL make up, vera wang perfume atleast if you can't afford one of her dresses! everything has to be perfect and regardless of what your own personal style is you will wear a meringue with flowers, lace, bows, crystals and ruffles lots and lots of ruffles.

But while flicking through these super bland mainstream mags i have also spent alot of time reading through sites like offbeatbride and rocknrollbride. Both show countless examples of couples rocking their wedding days! Not to be cool but because these couples ARE cool! They know who they are, what they love and have worked really hard to go against the 'norm' to share this with their families. This is what we want to do! I suppose with weddings people tend to start the planning process with the 'to do' list. Which is kinda where we started but instead of crossing things off as we've completed them we started by crossing the things off we didn't want included in our wedding and adding what we did want, here are a few changes we've made so far-

•  As i've mentioned before we crossed off all the religious/church items as we're having a registry office ceremony which gives us more 'to do's' to add to the list.
• We could also cross off all the honeymoon 'to do's' but we've added restaurant reservations to the list as we get free disney dining plan and these have to be booked super early or there is no way you'll get in.
• Also on the list was speeches- Ben isn't the stand up infront of a huge group of people and make a speech kind of guy so we're scrapping that and maybe i'll be the one making the speech!
• Also i'm tattooed (nothing super heavy, unfortunatly), i have a few piercings and my ears are stretched and i know i said along time ago that i'd take all my piercings out and cover all tattoos but why would i do that? I love my body mods and everyone who will be attending our wedding knows i have these so it seems pointless hiding them :)
• My idea is to have my two nieces (erica will be 3 and Alys will be 23months) as my Bridesmaids and My Sister Jade as my maid of honour but in my own unique twist i'm planning on asking my brother in law to be my 'bridesdude' because he is an amazing guy he's just like a big bro and i want to include him into my day (shhhh i've not asked them all yet!)
• Another twist i plan on is my bridesmaids and maid of honour will be rocking some sweet dresses and not the usual bridesmaid dresses that make the wearers uncomfortable on the day and when they look back at the photos a few months/years later.

I'm looking forward to planning our wedding the way we want it but i can see already that at some points  i will come across someone who doesn't grasp the 'rock n roll wedding' concept and i'll be labelled a 'Bridezilla'.

Much Love, Jo x x x

Venue on the menu.

　Today i called the lovely Barn bookings lady (Pat) who answered all the questions i hadn't asked the caretaker. We can have a photobooth aslong as it's taken down that night! :) The 1st of september was still available so i asked if we could book the barn for all day, plus the back hall, bar and the disco. Pat is sending me a booking form in the post (they really should get online!)

The other bit of info i forgot to mention in my last post is that the council that run the barn are looking into getting a catering firm in to do all the events held there which would cost a fortune and mess up our self catering plans. While this hasn't been decided yet i'm thinking everything is going so smoothly this maybe the thing that throws a spanner in the works. There is no more information about this apart from that it is a possibility.Also they haven't said whether all self catering bookings will be honoured if it does go through. I was thinking of booking the Catcliff hall 'just in case' but Ben isn't keen on the idea as comparing the the barn to the hall is like comparing a diamond to an old shoe - One is stunning the other is practical but with little to no 'wow factor' (i still like it though!). I didn't take any photos yesterday but i've found a couple on the web.

Much Love, Jo x x x



Then Catcliffe memorial hall..

Not quite as impressive! but cheaper and a possible self catering venue if things with the barn don't pan out.

Well it's provisionally official !

Today as i sat at work i couldn't concentrate, finding myself daydreaming of flowers, dresses, favours and everything else i don't really need to be thinking about right now, but it's so hard not to! I find myself talking to my colleagues about nothing but weddings then thinking 'shut up woman! they've had enough leave them alone' So from now on unless asked i've promised to keep all wedding related chit chat to this blog until the wedding is closer :)

So when the clock struck 3pm i raced over to meet Ben who had asked for permission to finish early. He later admitted to rabbiting on about our wedding as much as i had done which made me smile as it's a sure sign he's as excited as me.

We drove into the town center, parked up and headed for the Town hall. All enquiries are around the back and as we stepped in i thought we might meet nervous faces as Ben still had his uniform on and for some people the logo isn't a welcome sight (we work for immigration) but it was pretty empty.

We were directed to the celebratory office where we had a great chat with one of the ladies about the wedding services they provide. It seems they are changing things at the town hall and refurbing the ceremony rooms as well as the waiting rooms although she didn't have any information on exactly what it was going to look like she has heard that the changes include new mirrors, leather seats, the rooms will now only hold 60 and they are now going to do afternoon ceremonies on a friday and saturday. As with all government offices everything seemed to be all over the place. In the end we provisionally booked for the 1st of september 2012 no time has been confirmed as they don't know whats happening with regards to the dinner time slots. If the above paragraph seems a little scatty and infomation less thats how it was sat in the office. I cracked a joke about wanting a later wedding because i don't wake up til 12 on  a saturday and not even a twitch from any of them :/ Any way it's booked she said we could go in October and have alook around the newly refurbished rooms which will be cool. We've also been told that we have to give our intention to marry before January 31st which will probably be here before we know it.

To top off this exciting day we had a trip with our moms to have a look around the Whiston Manorial Barn. There i met Mrs Neal who is the caretaker of the barn. My first impression? WOW it looks amazing on the inside and the outside, thatched, beams and stone this building is bursting with character! It truly is amazing! Mrs Neal gave us a run down of the do's and don't (there are more don't but ain't that life) I found her to be a little sharp when answering our questions i thought this was just me as i haven't been sleeping well this past week but everyone agreed she was alittle abrupt. However  i understand she has to protect the barn and make sure it's looked after well and i guess she's seen alot of idiots in her 10 years at the barn. but when i asked if i could hire round tables i wasn't expecting her to throw it back into my face with 'WHY WOULD YOU WANT ROUND TABLES?' and 'My tables DO NOT leave this barn' my internal bridezilla flared up and i couldn't help but think 'because i just want round fucking tables!' anyway she then explained why they wouldn't work due to the lack of clearance between the beams and i agreed but then why couldn't she have just said that without being funny about it? We have to have their DJ and they don't do Kareoke which i was gutted about because i thought that would be a laugh but you win some you lose some.  Then she have us a lecture on candles and the list of what we could have and couldn't have, well my plan includes LED candles so everything she said was a waste of breath. We also discussed table cloths and chair covers this was the first time she didn't talk down to us which was nice! I'm not a toughened wedding planner i've never done this before and if things go to plan i'll never have to do it again so why give me a hard time?

We thought most of our questions were answered but when we got home the inevitable happened and i realised i was supposed to ask about if we could have a photobooth but i totally spaced!  Tomorrow i shall phone the lady that books the Barn and see if she can help me with my query but if i need to call Mrs Neal for the answer, my mom can do it! Hehe!

Much love Jo x x

Ps. Sorry should have posted this yesterday but we came home late from the barn and i fell asleep as soon as i had stopped typing :)

Our journey starts here

Hey my name is Jo(anne) i'm 23 and i'm engaged to Ben who is 26. We have been together for almost 8 years and engaged for almost 3 years- wow time goes fast! We both still live with our parents and have been discussing moving out and getting married for ages now and a few weeks ago we decided to stop just talking about it and get the ball rolling. With more debt than savings this may seem mission impossible but i know we can do anything we set our mind to, with the help of our parents and our family.

In all honesty we weren't intending to get married next year but we booked a holiday to Walt Disney World Florida and i came up with the idea that we should make it our honeymoon and get hitched!- Ben agreed and here we are.

So i guess we have one item crossed off the wedding 'to do' list. Another thing that we could cross off the list was everything that relates to a church or religious wedding as neither of us identifies with any religion and i know many people who have had a church wedding dispite never going or being religious and the whole babbling vicar 'there are three people in this relationship, the husband, the wife and God' jeez that crap is just not what we want to hear on our big day.  We have chosen the Sheffield town hall for our wedding ceremony and we're going tomorrow to set a provisional date eeeee! so exciting :D

so on with the planning.. now those that know me, know that I'm not a very organised person, i can come up with really cool and creative ideas but organising things so they can be pulled off is more Ben's area of expertise, i guess thats why we're so good together.  However as wedding planning seems to be a 'woman's thing' and he's not really bothered about the details (he just really wants to get married, awww) i am carrying the torch on this one.

So far i've requested and received loads of venue info packs from around the sheffield area all of which center the cost around the food. Most people will just get on with the planning and not think of the food as a problem but there is alot to consider when it comes to feeding our families.

Initally the cost. This is a recession, money doesn't grow on trees and our family is HUGE! All the venues offer set menus starting at around £30 per guest (this doesn't include any drinks package which start at around £14). While this doesn't seem like alot for a slap up three course meal when you multiply that figure by around 80 you can see that its a whole lot of money!
Then there is the amount of food that will be served. While i haven't eaten at these places my past experience with weddings tells me that the food will be average and the portions small. Both of our families have healthy appetites and the last thing i want is any of them to be hungry after they have eaten, afterall that's not what we're paying for. I'd rather there be too much than not enough(quote from my mother inlaw-to-be usually about sunday dinner)
Then choice is not an option!? I don't agree with these venues limiting the menu choice to one meat and one veggie option. You pay all that money and i think everyone should be happy with their meal not just 85%. Also Ben is a really fussy eater he likes his meat, hates veg and will not entertain anything in a fancy sauce he can't even pronounce! and why should he have to mess about with his food on the biggest day of his life?

Well we came up with a solution that will solve all that...self catering! That way we can select a wide range of food we know people will eat and loads of it!

The only problem is self catering venues are few and far between and decreasing every year! The first place i thought of was Catcliff Memorial Hall which has a kitchen, bathroom facilities and a stage but the bar is tiny (think hole in the wall with the local landlord selling tinnies from the otherside and you'd be spot on!) then the lack of parking is also a problem i think there is only room for 4 or 5 cars max! The price seems pretty decent though and i was happy with it but my Aunty Carole (newly appointed head of wedding catering) suggested Whiston Manorial Barn, she says it's self catering and has plenty of carparking so i called tp check it out. When i called to ask for prices they seemed reasonable and from the outside the barn looks amazingly cute and kitsch! After finding out that it's available for the 1st of September next year i've arranged for me, Ben and our mom's to visit tomorrow night at 10pm. I can't wait to see it i just hope everything goes to plan and we can get the barn and our ceremony booked for Next September.

So it's a big day for us tomorrow we're super excited! and i have to admit i am feeling the stress a little because i want to get the barn and the ceremony for the date and time we have chosen. I can chill when thats booked and deposits paid, right?

Well i'm going to get some rest now and dream of the wedding, i can't wait for tomorrow!

Much love, Jo x x  x